Satire from Ted Block
AROUND THE BLOCK
News
with a Twist
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President Trump has decided not to hire two lawyers who were
announced last week as new additions to his legal team, leaving him with a
shrinking stable of lawyers as the investigation by the special counsel, Robert
S. Mueller III, enters an intense phase.
“The president is disappointed that conflicts prevent Joe
diGenova and Victoria Toensing from joining the president’s special counsel
legal team,” Mr. Trump’s personal lawyer, Jay Sekulow, said in a statement on
Sunday morning. “However, those conflicts do not prevent them from assisting
the president in other legal matters. The president looks forward to working
with them.”
White House insiders with knowledge of the president’s thinking
say the decision came minutes after Trump’s conversation with Rupert Murdoch,
chairman of News Corporation, owner of Fox News.
According to those insiders, Murdoch called the president to
express his displeasure at Trump’s poaching of so many of his on-air
personalities.
“Mate, no bloody way you can keep hiring my people. If
you keep this up, I'll tell my talking points editors to have our on-air personalities
attack everything you say or do. Fair dinkum*, we we can out-MSNBC if we want
to. You’ll have nothing left to watch on TV all day and actually have to do
some work.”
After listening for a while, Trump offered Murdoch a deal: “I’ll
won’t hire any more Fox personalities even though I wanted Hannity to be my communications director. But you got to give me this: I want Jeanine Pirro for one of two positions – replacing Mr. Magoo Sessions as
attorney general or as my next Supreme Court nominee.”
According to News Corp insiders, Pirro, the combative former judge,
prosecutor, and Republican politician, was an easy give for Murdoch, who told
associates, “He can have Jeanine. Crikey, she’s too much even for me.”
*Editor's note: Australian for "truly; for real"
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