Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Trump: "Why can't we do that?" regarding Chinese term limit scrapping


Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

China Looking to Eliminate Presidential Term Limits


Trump wants similar move in U.S.



China’s ruling Communist Party has proposed scrapping term limits for the country’s president, the official news agency said Sunday, appearing to lay the groundwork for party leader Xi Jinping to rule as president beyond 2023.

The party’s Central Committee proposed to remove from the constitution the expression that China’s president and vice president “shall serve no more than two consecutive terms,” the Xinhua News Agency said.

Political analysts said the party would likely seek to justify the proposed removal of the presidential term limit by citing Xi’s vision of establishing a prosperous, modern society by 2050.

Sources inside the White House have indicated that upon hearing this news, President Donald Trump directed his staff to explore the potential of a similar move in the United States.

Trump claims to have a great relationship with Xi, “probably the greatest relationship ever,” and has, in recent months, referred to Xi as  “a powerful man,” “a very good person” and as “king, although he’s called president.”

But White House insiders say the president is furious at the idea that Xi can eliminate term limits and he cannot.

Arguing that his own vision to “Make America Great Again,” in many ways similar to Xi’s establishment of a “prosperous modern society,” should be justification for allowing him to remain in office indefinitely in order to make sure that the job gets done and there is no possibility of a regression to the “Obama/Clinton” America.

Our sources indicate that the president wants to start the process immediately and is preparing to dispatch Donald Trump Jr. to Beijing to learn everything he can about the Central Committee’s rationale.

Upon learning of the Trump Jr. visit, a senior Central Committee official, speaking on the condition of anonymity because of the delicate relationship between China and the U.S., told Around the Block, "While we welcome the opportunity to explain what we're doing, we would prefer that the president send a more skillful representative. After all, don't you Americans consider Don Jr. 'your era's Fredo?'"



"Perhaps Ivanka or Jared would be better," he told Around the Block, going on to say, "OK, maybe not Jared."

Chinese official: "Ok, maybe not Jared"




Monday, February 26, 2018

Trump: would have stormed into school without weapon


Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Trump on Florida shooting: 'I'd run in there' even without gun
 
Huckabee “Colonel” Sanders: “What he said but not what he meant”


President Donald Trump said Monday he would have stormed into the Florida high school to stop the gunman perpetrating the nation's latest mass shooting "even if I didn't have a weapon" as he lambasted the inaction of a sheriff's deputy assigned to the school.

"You don't know until you test it, but I think, I really believe I'd run in there, even if I didn't have a weapon, and I think most of the people in this room would have done that too," Trump told a gathering of US governors at the White House.

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee “Colonel” Sanders later said Trump was touting his willingness to be a leader, going on to say, "I don't think that was the point he was making...running into the room. He was saying that he would be a leader and would want to take a courageous action.”

When pressed by reporters that Trump specifically said that he would have run in there “even if I didn’t have a weapon,” Sanders said, “Look, I think you know by now that what the president says does not always reflect what he means. And, as you all are aware, my job is to take what he says and tell y’all what he meant to say…what his intention was.”

Sanders went on to say that the idea floating around Washington that after his “Man of Action/Superhero pronouncement,” Trump is being fitted for a specially designed Spanx-infused Superman outfit is fake news perpetrated by the failing mainstream media. Despite this denial, shares in Spanx rose 15% on the (fake) news.






Adelson embassy gift includes naming rights: "U.S. Embassy at the Sands"


Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Sheldon Adelson offers to pay for U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem


$500 million gift might include naming rights



Numerous news organizations have reported that the Trump administration is considering an offer from Republican mega-donor and casino magnate Sheldon Adelson to pay for at least part of a new U.S. embassy in Jerusalem.

According the Associated Press, Adelson offered to help fund the embassy back in December, around the same time Trump made his controversial announcement to move the embassy from Tel Aviv. Reports are that the billionaire is willing to contribute as much as $500 million for the construction of the new embassy.

In what hasn’t been widely reported, Around the Block has learned exclusively that the offer comes with some strings attached.

According to sources inside Adelson’s organization, Las Vegas Sands Corporation, Adelson has demanded that his company receive naming rights for the new embassy.

Our sources indicate Adelson is thinking about something like “The U.S. Embassy at the Sands” as the name. And while it is too early in the process for preliminary building plans, his staff did provide a very rough mock-up of what the building might look like.


It is not clear whether the consular area of the embassy will include a casino.




Sunday, February 25, 2018

Trump to Israeli PM -- Tweet: "Witch Hunt," "Fake News," "No Collusion," then Fire AG


Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Israeli Prosecutors Close to Charging Netanyahu with Corruption


Prime Minister reaches out to Trump for strategic advice


Israeli media has reported that one of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s closest confidants has turned state witness and will incriminate him in corruption allegations, the latest in a dizzying series of developments that threaten to topple the beleaguered Israeli leader.

Police would not confirm whether longtime aide Shlomo Filber would testify against Netanyahu, but all the major Israeli media outlets said a deal to do so had been reached.

Attorney General Avihai Mandelblit, a Netanyahu appointee, will make the final decision on whether to file charges.

‘Around the Block’ has learned exclusively that Netanyahu, who has denied all the charges, had an emergency phone call with U.S. president Donald Trump to discuss how to defend against the allegations. Following that call, Netanyahu lashed out in a tweet: FAKE NEWS!! Media-orchestrated WITCH HUNT that has swept up police and prosecution. “Crooked” Shlomo Filber will be stopped. We will LOCK HIM UP. No COLLUSION. 
  


In addition to the Twitter advice, sources inside the Prime Minister’s office have reported, on the condition of anonymity, that Trump encouraged Netanyahu to demand that attorney general Mandelblit pledge an oath of allegiance to the PM and replace him with Deputy AG Shmuel ben Mosheh Kantorowitsch if the AG doesn’t pledge allegiance. This has led to concern among members of Netanyahu’s Likud party that they are only days away from an Israeli-style  במוצאי שבת (Saturday Night) massacre.