around the block

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 AROUND THE BLOCK

Commentary

Around the Block is changing web hosts 2

After several years using WordPress as the host of Around the Block, my frustrations with the site requires that I switch to a new host. Normal functions on WordPress breakdown constantly requiring me to spend more time devising work-arounds. The compositional frustrations using a broken system, combined their rejection of my ads for my a few of my posts for no apparent reason has led me to search for new host.

Regarding ads: I want to clarify the reason for advertising my posts which I explained in a past post:

There is a chance that you did not see that post. If you didn’t, here’s why. Several months ago I began advertising Around the Block through a program that my site host offers. While I have many subscribers to this blog, my goal was to see if I could increase my audience beyond those regular subscribers. This was not an attempt to make money. In fact, not only do I pay for these ads, I don’t receive anything from publishing Around the Block except the satisfaction that my thoughts, ideas and opinions are shared with others. Guess what? The advertising works! Since I’ve begun advertising, my readership has increased demonstrably. (I guess as a retired ad guy I shouldn’t sound so surprised.) But once in a while ads are rejected for no apparent reason and no explanation. The post is question was rejected. This post you are reading will be submitted for advertising. Hopefully it will be approved. (By the way, the new post was accepted)

The site you're now on, Google's "blogger.com," was my original host. I will use it in the interim until I find a better alternative. 

The apologize in advance for any confusion and will up date on where Around the Block will land and how you can access it.

Thanks for your support,

Ted

El muro de Trump: ¿Grande? ¿Hermosa? ¿Impenetrable? ¡No, no, no! (Trump's wall -- Big? Beautiful? Impenetrable? Not, not, not!)

Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Smugglers are sawing through new sections of Trump’s border wall

Using $100 cordless saws from Home Depot

The Washington Post reported today that smuggling gangs in Mexico have repeatedly sawed through new sections of President Trump’s border wall in recent months by using commercially available power tools, opening gaps large enough for people and drug loads to pass through, according to U.S. agents and officials with knowledge of the damage.

According to the Post, the breaches have been made using a popular cordless household tool known as a reciprocating saw that retails at hardware stores for as little as $100. When fitted with specialized blades, the saws can slice through one of the barrier’s steel-and-concrete bollards in a matter of minutes, according to the agents, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly about the barrier-defeating techniques.

Consulting engineers told the Post, “After cutting through the base of a single bollard, smugglers can push the steel out of the way, allowing an adult to fit through the gap. Because the bollards are so tall — and are attached only to a panel at the very top — their length makes them easier to push aside once they have been cut and are left dangling.”

While Trump’s taxpayer-funded barrier has cost $10 billion so far, and has been described by the president variously as “a big beautiful wall,” “a great wall, because I know how to build,” “virtually impenetrable,” “the Rolls-Royce of walls,” it appears not only not great and beautiful, but “penetrable.”

In an interview with Around the Block, Carlos Diego Garcia y Vega, a noted smuggler using a pseudonym to protect his identity, said, 

"No puedo creer lo fácil que es atravesar este muro. Simplemente compramos las herramientas en Tijuana Home Depot y simplemente cortamos, cortamos, cortamos. Lo único que le digo a mi tripulación es que no compre esa basura estadounidense Black & Decker. Compramos Makita. Ahora los japoneses, saben cómo construir cosas."

(“I can’t believe how easy it is to cut through this wall. We just buy the tools at the Tijuana Home Depot and just cut, cut, cut. The one thing I tell my crew, don’t buy that American Black & Decker junk, We buy Makita. Now the Japanese, they know how to build things.") 

Garcia y Vega added:

"Gracias a Dios, México no pagó el muro; si lo hicieran, habrían exigido un muro más fuerte y una garantía de devolución de dinero. Nunca podríamos ver a través de un muro financiado por México.."

("Thank God Mexico didn’t pay for the wall; if they did, they would have demanded a stronger wall and a money-back guarantee. We would never be able to saw through a Mexican-funded wall.")  

25 years ago, Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric debated @. And how odd "Violence at NBC sounded"

AROUND THE BLOCK

Flashback Edition

TODAY discovers the internet

What is Internet?

Back in 1994, the TODAY anchor team of Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric asked an honest question: “What is Internet?”

Way back in 1994, 25 years ago, then Today Show anchors Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric were flummoxed by “internet.”

And, what “@” meant.

Bryant: That little mark, with the “a” and the circle around it. "At?" Katie thought it was “about."

Katie: Or “around.”

Do you remember? If you do remember, did you know what they were talking about?

But, in the most prescient part of the segment, given what’s going on at NBC now (Matt Lauer, Ronan Farrow’s new book “Catch and Kill”), Bryant exemplified the “@” with this:

Bryant: And then it sounded stupid when I said it, “Violence at NBC. See there it is, violence at NBC GEcom." I mean, what is internet anyway. 

Bryant, I don't know where you are now (wait, wait, don't tell me, HBO's Real Sports), but you'd be interested in this: today (no pun intended) we have "#NBCcoverup."

Here's the link to that 1994 segment: 

https://www.today.com/video/today/56868116

Trump, World Series, Nationals and Chief Wahoo

Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Trump says he’ll attend Game 5 of the World Series at Nationals Park

Nat’s management working on plans to avoid presidential appearance

**Alert -- This Around the Block contains "Twisted News" that some may consider politically incorrect, insensitive and offensive.**

The Washington Post reported today that President Trump plans to attend Game 5 of the World Series at Nationals Park on Sunday if the Washington Nationals and Houston Astros are still playing.

Given Trump’s dismal approval ratings in the Washington DC area: Approve 21%/Disapprove 76%, Nationals’ management is making contingency plans to help ensure that Trump’s appearance will not occur and spoil the Nationals magical World Series run.

According to our sources, Nationals’ assistant general manager for presidential attendance, Whitey Whitehouse, is working on two potential tracks, both requiring help from Washington’s NFL team, the Redskins.

The Redskins, whose owner, Dan Snyder, has stated that the team will never change its name despite the fact that the name is considered offensive, disparaging and insulting, doubled down recently by hiring Chief Wahoo, the recently fired symbol of baseball’s Cleveland Indians, and a board-certified Medicine Man. Snyder has indicated that he will lend Chief Wahoo to the Nationals this one-time only to allow him to do his Medicine Man magic and help his neighboring team.

The preferred track, both for the team and its fans, is for the Nationals to simply sweep the Astros by winning Games 3 and 4 at Nationals Park, making Game 5 unnecessary. In that regard, prior to Games 3 and 4, Chief Wahoo will perform the Sun Dance and offer prayers for a Nationals win to the Great Spirit of Victory, Wakan Tanka.

Since even Chief Wahoo’s chants and prayers can’t guarantee a Nationals sweep, and if Game 5 becomes necessary, the second track will have Chief Wahoo on Sunday morning go to the War God Spring where the clouds are born and give offerings and request rain. A rainout will move Game 5 from Sunday to Monday when Trump will not be available because he will be spending the whole day in "Executive Time" (aka, watching Fox News).

“One way or another, we’re counting on Chief Wahoo to come through and avert what would be a very unpleasant and unpopular appearance by the President,” Whitehouse said. 

Trump, Giuliani, Lev Parnas, Executive Privilege and Kevin Bacon

Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

Commentary

Indicted Giuliani Associate Ties Case to Trump

He can’t talk because…you guessed it: EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE!

Lev Parnas leaving Courthouse with 4th Wife Honey (or Bunny)

The New York Times reported today that, “one of the two indicted associates of President Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudolph W. Giuliani, on Wednesday tied the case to the president himself, saying that some of the evidence gathered in the campaign-finance investigation could be subject to executive privilege.”

Lev Parnas, a Ukrainian-born U.S. “businessman” and Palm Beach County neighbor (Boca Raton), through his lawyer, Ed McMahon (really, I kid you not…wait that was Jack Paar’s line, not Johnny’s) told the judge in the case that “the potential for the White House to invoke executive privilege stemmed from the fact that Mr. Parnas had used Mr. Giuliani as his own lawyer at the same time Mr. Giuliani was working as Mr. Trump’s lawyer.” 

Interestingly, Trump claims he doesn’t know who Parnas is despite the dozens of pictures with Parnas and Donald “Everyone Wants a Picture with Me” Trump.

Our sources have indicated that McMahon’s argument is based on the Kevin Bacon Department of Justice “Six Degrees of Separation” rule recently written by Attorney General and one of Trump’s “Three Toadieteers*,” William “Lower the Bar” Barr. 

To lend more credence to the argument, McMahon has directed his paralegal, Doc Severinsen, to subpoena Bacon and have him appear as a friendly witness.

Bacon, coming off his recent success as Jackie Rohr, the profane, corrupt Boston-based FBI agent in the hit Showtime series, City on a Hill, told Around the Block, “What, are you f-ing kidding? I ain’t testifying for anyone. I’m claiming my own executive privilege – I was in Oliver Stone’s JFK for God’ sake; that qualifies, doesn’t it.”

*The Three Toadieteers: Mike "Can I Stop Standing Behind Trump Looking Like a Toadie?" Pence, Mike "I Don't Understand Why Everyone in the State Department Hates Me" Pompeo, and, of course, William "Lower the Bar" Barr.

We should be storming the barricades not GOP Congressmen

AROUND THE BLOCK

Commentary

Republicans Grind Impeachment Inquiry to Halt as Picture Darkens for Trump

House Republicans storm secure suite on Capitol Hill where the impeachment inquiry was being held

The New York Times reported today that, “House Republicans ground the impeachment inquiry to a halt on Wednesday, staging an attention-grabbing protest at the Capitol that sowed chaos and derailed a crucial deposition as they sought to insulate President Trump against mounting evidence of misconduct.

“The day after the most damning testimony yet about Mr. Trump’s pressure campaign to enlist Ukraine to smear his political rivals, House Republicans stormed into the secure office suite where impeachment investigators have been conducting private interviews that have painted a damaging picture of the president’s behavior — and refused to leave. 

“Chanting ‘Let us in! Let us in!’ about two dozen Republican lawmakers — most of whom are not on the committees conducting the inquiry and are therefore not entitled to attend their hearings — pushed past Capitol Police officers to enter the secure rooms of the House Intelligence Committee, which is leading the investigation. Republicans who are on the committees have been in on the hearings from the start and have heard all the witnesses.

“’This is a Soviet-style process,’ declared Representative Steve Scalise, the No. 2 Republican. ‘It should not be allowed in the United States of America. Every member of Congress ought to be allowed in that room. The press ought to be allowed in that room.’”

Wait, what? 

We're talking about Trump. Aren’t we the ones who should be storming the barricades?

Yes we should. But truthfully, this is the only thing Republicans have left…attacking the process and diverting attention. They want everything out in the open, even though Republican Congressmen from the appropriate committees are attending the closed-door hearings…and coming out of those meeting lying about what they heard or read (can you say Devin Nunes?). 

What the Dems are doing now, like it or not, is gathering evidence to determine whether to bring charges or not. As has been written many times before, and as Chuck Rosenberg, former U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia and Chief of Staff to the Director of the FBI agreed today, impeachment is like a trial and evidence gathering is part of the process. 

It works like this…impeachment in the House is like a grand jury gathering evidence. An important part of that evidence gathering is deposing potential witnesses. Should it be done in private? Debatable, perhaps, but depositions are generally done privately with both sides present, as is happening now. Then, once the decision is made to bring charges, in this case, open impeachment hearings in the House, the people being deposed will testify in public.

So the GOP can storm all they want, but eventually they’ll get what they want: open hearings. I trust they’re smart enough to realize that they should really be careful about what they wish for.

Oh right, Republican Congressmen. Probably not smart enough.