Sharpiegate: Who says we don't know how to "beat a dead horse?"

Satire from Ted Block 

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist – Beat a dead horse edition

White House suppresses new altered hurricane map 

Image Photoshopped by wives of aides in attempt to save husbands’ reputations

Around the Block has learned exclusively that there is another photo of President Trump presenting his altered NOOA Hurricane map. This new photo, one that was obviously and rather crudely altered, was sent to the White House by the wives of the three aides sitting with Trump in the Oval Office when he presented his own obvious and crudely altered map, now known as the "Sharpiegate" map, in attempt to prove his “Alabama will be hit hard” claim. 

The wives Photoshopped this image and sent it to the White House in order to protect the identity and the reputation of their husbands, who in the original photo, appeared to be wholeheartedly supporting the president’s assertions. 

As one wife related to Around the Block, "The picture with my husband just sitting there looking like a toady is awful. I mean my kids went to school today and all their friends were taunting them with shouts like, 'your Dad's a sycophant.'" Another wife chimed in, "Well you must send your kids to a hooty-tooty school; my kids are being told that their dad's a 'brown-nosing, boot-licking, suck-up." The third wife was so distraught she simply weeped, saying, "If we don't protect our husbands, who will? I mean those flunkies don't have the backbone to stand up to that man."

Much to the wives' disappointment, the White House rejected their request to use their altered image. One of the wives reported to Around the Block that, “Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham told us, ‘What, are you kidding? We would never use an altered image in the Oval Office. It’s not the American way.’”

Undaunted, the wives turned to Around the Block, recognizing that ATB would be the only twisted news outlet who would publish their image and get it out in the public arena. 

As one of the wives said when they delivered the photo, “After all, Around the Block is really the only place left where news can get out 'Faster than a Speeding Bullet' and where 'Truth, Justice and the American Way reigns supreme.'"*

(*Courtesy: Superman, 1938)