Satire from Ted Block
AROUND THE BLOCK
News with a Twist
**Breaking Twisted News**
Giuliani signs BLOCKBUSTER deal with Fox
Agreement includes 2 TV shows; 1 feature film
Around the Block has learned exclusively that the Fox Corporation, the Murdoch controlled owner of Fox TV and the Fox News Network, has signed Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor of New York, President Trump’s private attorney and America’s TV lawyer, to a blockbuster deal that will have “America’s Mayor” executive produce and star in two Fox-produced TV shows and one feature film.
The TV shows will be called Where in the World is Rudy Giuliani which will air on the Fox Network and America's Lawyer Yells and Screams to be carried by the Fox News Channel.
Where in The World is Rudy Giuliani – a weekly Fox Network series which will follow Rudy as he travels the world visiting dictatorships and other countries where the rule of law has been abandoned. Each episode will feature Giuliani meeting with leaders, laughing and sharing autocrat jokes ("did you hear the one about Stalin walking into a bar with a rabbi and a priest..."). The show will always end with a fade to black as Rudy enters the White House after the trip. Initial venues will include Ukraine (Ukraine will be aired in five separate segments), Kazakhstan, Belarus, Hungary and, of course, Russia. We understand when Rudy visits Russia he will not meet with Russian leader Vladimir Putin (at least not in the open).
America’s Lawyer Yells and Screams – a daily primetime Fox News Channel talk/interview show in which a rotating panel of commentators from CNN and MSNBC, as well as Fox’s own Chris Wallace, will be grilled by Rudy who will yell and scream at them before they have a chance to answer his questions. The show’s format will feature a final 10-minute segment in which Rudy (by that part of the show Rudy will be so confused and demented that he will have to rest) will turn the show over to co-hosts who will continue to shout at and otherwise try to demean the panel. We've learned that Rudy has already lined up Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Jennine Pirro and Laura Ingraham as co-hosts.The feature film, This Was Us, will be produced by Fox Searchlight.*
This Was Us – a future, fantasy, dramady, will jump forward to 2024 to tell the story of Rudy and Donald Trump, three years into their sentences in federal prison, commiserating about their lives in politics and how their trials and convictions, as well as Trump’s impeachment and removal from office, were witch hunts, run by bad people who treated them both very badly. While full, final casting has not been announced, ATB has learned that Rudy will play himself while Alec Baldwin will play Trump, Steve Martin will play both Mike Pence and Joe Biden, Larry David will be Bernie Sanders, Kate McKinnon will play Crooked Hillary Clinton, Sacha Baron Cohen will be Adam Schiff, Jeff Garlin will be Jerry Nadler and legendary Native American actress, Sacheen Littlefeather, will play Elizabeth Warren.
Terms of the agreement have not been announced as Giuliani believes that would suggest a quid pro quo and, as a lawyer, he understands the dangers of getting involved in “quid” and “pro” as well as “quo.”
Our sources have told us however, that Giuliani's payment will be in a combination of Russian rubles (₽) and Ukrainian hryvnia (₴).
*Fox Searchlight and other former 21st Century Fox assets were recently sold to the Walt Disney Company. As part of that deal Fox retained the right to produce one film after the sale. Apparently, Murdoch being Murdoch, This Was Us is that film.
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