Pence and the 25th Amendment; (the) Ukraine and (The) Bronx

Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Random thoughts on the “News of the Day”

In today’s Around the Block we’ll take a break from our conventional reporting and comment on current events other media outlets are not covering.

Vice President Pence working with aides on invoking 25th Amendment

Around the Block has learned that Vice President Pence is actively working on invoking the 25^th Amendment. As ATB readers know* the 25^th Amendment reads,

"Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President."

* You know, because I know, ATB readers are the most politically savvy, intelligent, Constitutionally up-to-speed readers of any journal in the world.

In order to get that majority, Pence is floating, in his own words, this justification:

“Anyone who hires Rudy Giuliani for anything, let alone as his personal attorney, is f'ing* out of his mind and should not only be removed because he can't discharge his duties, he should be immediately committed to a looney bin"

*f'ing is "freaking." This is Mike Pence, after all

(Note: ATB has learned that Vice President Pence has embargoed future media use of any and all photos of the Vice President looking fawningly at the President, similar to  the one used in this post, in order to lend additional credence to his 25^th amendment investigation.)

If Ukraine, Why Not Bronx?

I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up, that place in Eastern Europe, then part of the Soviet Union, was called, Ukrainian SSR, or more popularly, the Ukraine. And since I grew up in New York City, I knew the names of the five boroughs, Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan, Staten Island and The Bronx.

When as kids we talked about the Ukraine in Hebrew School, recognizing that many of our ancestors escaped from that part of Eastern Europe, we would ask friends, “Did your grandparents come from Poland or the Ukraine? Or, “Were the pogroms in the Ukraine as bad as the ones in Russia?

But now, the country formerly known as the Ukraine is simply Ukraine. So, why are we still calling The Bronx, The Bronx. Shouldn’t it just be Bronx? Like, “Wasn’t it great when the Giants played in the Polo Grounds in Manhattan and the Yankees played in Yankee Stadium right across the river in Bronx?” Or, “Forget Little Italy, the best Italian food in the city is on Arthur Avenue in Bronx.”

People from “da Bronx” stand up for your rights. Bring Bronx up to modern standards. Drop the "The." Bronx! Bronx! Bronx!

(Full disclosure: Around the Block has no skin in this process as this reporter is a Brooklynite.*) 

 *People from Brooklyn are called “Brooklynites,” from Manhattan, “Manhattanites,” from Staten Island, “Staten Islanders,” from Bronx, “da Bronx.” But, people from Queens are just called “People from Queens.” Really? That's it? People from Queens, stop acting as second-class New Yorkers; get some respect and get a name. Think “Queensters;” modern, hip and totally great. “Queensters crushes it."