Satire from Ted Block
AROUND THE BLOCK
News with a Twist
Trump administration reaches deal to send asylum seekers to El Salvador
Effort to deter migrants from entering the United States
I learned today that The Art of the Deal is in alive and well!
The Washington Post reported today that “the Trump administration has reached an accord that could allow the United States to turn away asylum seekers at the U.S. border and send them to El Salvador to seek refuge, pushing migrants into one of the most dangerous countries in the world. The deal between the two governments is the latest in a series of policies aimed at creating new layers of deterrents to the influx of migrants applying for protection on U.S. soil."
As you digest the details of this incredibly well-thought out, classically Trumpian deal, here's Carmen San Diego's, Around the Block’s Homeland Security correspondent, interview with her source in the department.
Carmen San Diego: Is El Salvador really a good place to send people seeking asylum due to the danger in their own country? Isn’t it dangerous as well? Here’s what the U.S. State Department Travel Advisory says:
“Reconsider travel to El Salvador due to crime. Violent crime, such as murder, assault, rape, and armed robbery, is common. Gang activity, such as extortion, violent street crime, and narcotics and arms trafficking, is widespread. Local police may lack the resources to respond effectively to serious criminal incidents."
DHS: Point well taken. But that advisory is only for Americans. We really don’t care about anyone else.
CSD: Where will Salvadorian asylum seekers be sent?
DHS: Not to worry. One of the most important precepts in the Art of the Deal is to leave nothing to chance. The asylum accord with El Salvador would not send its citizens back to their country if they reach the U.S. border seeking protection; they would be routed to Guatemala.
CSD: But isn’t Guatemala extremely dangerous?
DHS: Yes, Guatemala is dangerous as well. But not as dangerous as El Salvador. Guatemala is only a “Level 2: Yellow – Exercise Increased Caution country according the U.S. State Department; El Salvador is a Level 3: Orange – Reconsider Travel country. So, the Salvadorians are actually getting a break.
CSD: But that doesn’t sound like good news for the Guatemalans and Hondurans being sent to El Salvador. What about gang violence in El Salvador? Doesn’t that make it one of the most dangerous places in the world?
DHS: Salvadorian Police Commissioner Howard Cotto assured us that the murder rate was 50.3 per 100,000 inhabitants in 2018 in El Salvador. That’s down from 60.8 the previous year and less than half the 103 recorded in 2015. Trump Administration officials instructed us that any place that has a murder rate below rat-invested Baltimore (56 per 100,000 inhabitants) would qualify.
CSD: Trump can’t seem to get off the Baltimore thing, can he?
DHS: It comes right from the Art of the Deal in the chapter entitled, “When You Got The Advantage, Beat It To Death.”
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