Pope and Trump catfight results in surprise beneficiary

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Pope Francis suggests Trump “is not Christian”

Trump calls Pope “disgraceful”

  

A full-blown Christian catfight erupted today between Pope Francis and Donald J. Trump.

According to CNN, minutes after the Pope said Trump "is not Christian" if he calls for the deportation of undocumented immigrants and pledges to build a wall between the United States and Mexico, Trump struck back, calling Francis' comments "disgraceful."

Trump, who was surprised that the Pope actually mentioned him, told a crowd at a rally in South Carolina, “I like the Pope if he said something good about me and I don’t like the Pope if he said something bad about me.”

Since in his view, the Pope said something bad about him, Trump went on to say, "If and when the Vatican is attacked by ISIS, which as everyone knows is ISIS's ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been president."

As a direct result of Trump's statements, the FBI is seeking to immediately debrief Mr. Trump for his comment that everyone knows that the Vatican is ISIS' ultimate trophy since no one in the U.S. security community actually knew that.

In an unintended consequence of the Pope/Trump Christian brawl, support for Bernie Sanders, the only non-Christian candidate on either side of the race, soared.

When asked to comment on the controversy Sanders said, “Look, walls, shmalls, is that really the issue? I think not when the top 0.1% in U.S. has almost as much wealth as bottom 90%, when we don’t have Medicare for all or free college tuition or all the other things I talk about ad nauseam.”