Thursday, August 22, 2019

Donald, Melach Yisrael (Donald, King of Israel)


Satire from Ted Block 

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

As Trump questions loyalty of US Jews, 
Israeli PM is quiet 

But Netanyahu quietly signs Executive Order in support of US president – do all Israeli’s agree?



JERUSALEM - Israel’s prime minister on Wednesday steered clear of Donald Trump’s comments questioning the loyalty of American Jews who support the Democratic Party, in sharp contrast to the tide of condemnation from Jewish critics who accused him of trafficking in anti-Semitic stereotypes. 

However, Prime Minister Netanyahu did take action on one of Trump’s claims.

Earlier in the day, Trump, in a tweet, quoted the conspiracist Wayne Allyn Root, who in the past has said that violence including the murder of a peace activist at a white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, was “probably paid actors & infiltrators hired by Soros”.

Root’s tweet said in part, “The Jewish people in Israel love him like he’s the ‘King of Israel.’ They love him like he is the second coming of God.”

Israeli King Donald in full regalia (courtesy Jared Kushner)

Facing a hotly contested election, Netanyahu, understanding what the King of Israel’s support would do to his election chances, immediately issued an Executive Order changing the words of one of Israel’s most popular children’s songs.

The song, David, Melech Yisrael (David, King of Israel) is sung regularly by children all over Israel in school, at social gatherings and at parties. It goes like this: 
David, melech Yisrael  
          Chai, chai vekayam…             
David, King of Israel

  Alive, living, and existing…

Netanyahu’s order calls for the lyrics to be changed and requires all Israeli schools to use the new lyrics when singing the “King of Israel” song.
Donald, melech Yisrael  
        Chai, chai vekayam…             
Donald, King of Israel

  Alive, living, and existing… 
Is everyone in Israel behind this blatantly political move by the PM?

Not everyone.

Around the Block has learned exclusively that at one school in south Tel Aviv, the most liberal part of the most liberal city in the country, kindergarten teacher Chana Ashkenazi has rejected Netanyahu’s decree and instead is allowing her children to choose – to sing the song with its original lyrics or, with new lyrics that she hopes will give her charges a better understanding of the world they live in. 
Donald, melech Yisrael         
Chai, chai mesaper shkarim...  
Donald, King of Israel

  Alive, living, teller of lies… 









Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Danish PM: "Absurd" Trump: "Nasty" -- Playground time ends in January 2021 (Hopefully!!!)


Satire from Ted Block 

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

No Joke: Trump really wanted to buy Greenland; cancels trip to Denmark when Danes refuse to sell

Move brings into question Trump's foreign policy

Secret to his “diplomacy” uncovered


The New York Times reported today that U.S. president Donald Trump cancelled a planned state visit to Denmark because Denmark would not sell Greenland to the United States.

The visit was cancelled in a tweet.

While Danes were initially astonished by Trump’s original offer to buy the semi-autonomous region, the Times reported, “the astonishment in Denmark over President Trump’s apparent desire to buy Greenland turned to bewilderment and anger on Wednesday after the American leader abruptly scrapped a state visit because the Danes have no desire to sell.

“The cancellation was a rare snub of Denmark’s head of state, Queen Margrethe II, who had extended the invitation to the president and would have hosted him and the first lady.

“News that Mr. Trump had called off his visit ‘came as a surprise,’ the Royal House’s communications director told the state broadcaster, adding, ‘That’s all we have to say about that.’

“Others, however, had more to say. ‘Is this some sort of joke?’ Helle Thorning-Schmidt, a former prime minister, wrote on Twitter. ‘Deeply insulting to the people of Greenland and Denmark.’”

Just like his initial purchase offer, the cancellation was not a joke. A day earlier, Mr. Trump said on Twitter that Denmark was “a very special country with incredible people” but added that he was abandoning plans to visit because of the country’s refusal to sell Greenland, a self-governing part of the kingdom of Denmark.

And, after the Danish PM, Mette Frederiksen, called Trump’s Greenland idea “absurd,” Trump said she was “nasty” giving the thinned-skin president another excuse for abruptly canceling the visit.

The Danes were not the only people surprised. Just hours before Trump’s tweet, the U.S. ambassador to Denmark, Carla Sands, wrote on Twitter that Denmark was excited about the president’s visit.


So, with this latest international kerfuffle dominating the news, what is the secret to Trump’s foreign policy?

In an exclusive, Around the Block has uncovered the secret sauce behind Trump’s diplomacy.

In a heretofore unreported event, minutes after settling into the White House, Trump’s son-in-law and special advisor in charge of everything, presented the president with a treasured (White) house-warming gift: the complete two-volume set: Foreign Policy for Dummies and Diplomacy for Dummies.



Jared’s heartfelt inscription in Foreign Policy for Dummies read, 


Dad, I’ve been reading these books since you won the election in November (yeah, I know I’m a slow reader). I figured that despite all the foreign policy jobs you’re giving me, I’m a real dummy, so I figured I’d boner up (HaHaHa. See what I did there, boner up, not bone up? Shows that I really know you, right Dad?) Now that I’m almost finished, I thought you’d get some insights from these books since you’re as big a dummy as I am (LOL).  
XOXOXO,
Jared
Is this the secret sauce? Well, as this leaked photo from the White House shows, the president IS actually reading the books.



Upon hearing about Jared’s gift to her father, and not to be outdone, Ivanka Trump, Jared’s wife and rival presidential aide presented another “Dummies” type book, Backstabbing for Beginners, to her dad. Apparently, no inscription from Ivanka, but sources tell us that she was sitting on Trump’s lap when she gave him the book, told him that that since he doesn't read books, he should really re-gift it someone who needs it, like Rex Tillerson, and left after giving him a big, wet, good-luck kiss on the lips. 



Always trying to curry favor with her father, Tiffany Trump, maybe the only voice of reason in the Trump family or White House, also gave her father a house-warming gift, Human Decency for Dummies. Our reporting indicates that Tiffany’s gift was slipped under the Oval Office door (since she's not allowed anywhere near the Oval Office) whereupon presidential aides immediately relegated it to the circular file.



Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Trump: "Jews for Democrats Show Disloyalty" NOT!

AROUND THE BLOCK

 I learned…


 I learned today that President Trump said that Jewish people who vote for Democrats are either ignorant or disloyal as he railed against two congresswomen who have been critical of the U.S.-Israel alliance.

"I think Jewish people that vote for a Democrat — I think it shows either a total lack of knowledge or great disloyalty," Trump told reporters during an Oval Office meeting. 

Here goes:

I am Jewish. I am not a genius, but I’m not ignorant. And I certainly don’t have “a total lack of knowledge.”

I am not disloyal. In fact, I am incredibly loyal. 


I served as a U.S. Navy officer from 1967 to 1969. When I volunteered for Officer Candidate School, I was a 21-year old college graduate, the oldest brother of three – one in middle school, the other in elementary school, with a widowed mother with no job and no prospects. Unlike some more privileged, more connected people at the time, my family situation was not sufficiently dire to qualify me for a deferment. And unlike some other people of my age, I could not get a doctor to diagnose me with “bone spurs” to keep me out of the draft. So, I volunteered and honorably served my country.

As a loyal American, I support the Constitution and what America stands for. But, importantly, that support is qualified; my support does not mean I agree with everything the American government says or does. That’s what great about our democracy, the key to our democratic society: We have the right to opposing views as part of our healthy discourse. And, with that healthy discourse comes the right, yes, the right, to espouse those views in any legal way, conversations, in blogs like Around the Block and in protests, small and large. And, of course, the right to change things through the electoral process (when it's not corrupted by illegal foreign influence and partisan attempts at voter suppression).

As an American Jew, I enthusiastically support Israel. But as someone who believes in democracy, just as in my own country, that does not mean I support everything the government of Israel says or does. I am disappointed in some Israeli government policies. I am fearful about the country's future. I wish I had a solution to the Israeli-Palestinian problem. But my disappointment and my fear for the future does not make me an anti-Semite; it does not make me a “self-loathing Jew.” It actually makes me a Jew who doesn't just follow the "religious" line, but one who can think and make informed choices.

As a non-ignorant, loyal American Jew, I will not vote for Trump and will vote mostly Democratic. Clearly, I am appalled by Trump’s admonition to my fellow Jews. But, unlike Trump, I will not disparage my fellow Jews by suggesting how they should vote. I would only ask…think hard about the man and what he stands for, before you pull that lever (or here in Florida, unhang that chad).

Friday, August 16, 2019

Trump: "I want to buy Greenland;" Mnuchin working on proposal and a..NEW name


Satire from Ted Block 

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist
Trump wants to buy Greenland

White House meeting convened to work out proposal


The Wall Street Journal reported on Thursday that Donald Trump has been asking aides about the possibility of the U.S. government purchasing Greenland, the world’s largest island, a puzzling fantasy that some in the White House have apparently thrown their support behind. The logic here—to the extent there is any—is that purchasing Greenland could give America a stronger presence in the strategically-important Arctic, but there’s no way that matters to Trump, who surely heard the word “largest” and was immediately gripped by visions of the territory emblazoned with his name in gold.

Reactions to the president’s desire was swift.

“We are open for business,” Greenland foreign minister Ane Lone Bagger told Reuters on Friday, “but we’re not for sale.”

“If he is truly contemplating this, then this is final proof that he has gone mad,” Danish People’s Party foreign affairs spokesman Soren Espersen said following the Journal’s report. “The thought of Denmark selling 50,000 citizens to the United States is completely ridiculous.”

“It must be an April Fool’s Day joke,” former Danish Prime Minister Lars Lokke Rasmussen tweeted Thursday evening. “But totally out of [season]!”

“Oh, dear lord,” Rufus Gifford, the former U.S. ambassador to Denmark, tweeted Thursday. “As someone who loves Greenland, has been there 9 times to every corner and loves the people, this is a complete and total catastrophe.”

While the rest of the news media is trying to figure out how serious the president is about this idea, Around the Block is doing serious investigative journalism. 

We have learned, exclusively, that Trump, who is scheduled to make a state visit to Denmark in September, has asked his staff to develop a proposal he can present to the Danish prime minister, 

According to our sources, a top-level meeting was recently held in the White House Map Room where the president and aides discussed the issue.

Trump: I want to buy Greenland. I heard it’s the biggest island in the world and I think one of the best ways to make America great again is to own everything that is the biggest.
 Treasury Secretary Mnuchin: But Mr. President, Greenland is an autonomous Danish territory. We just can’t go out and buy it like a piece of property. 
 Trump: Steve, Steve, you’re such a schlemiel. Everything is for sale and everything has a price. Didn’t you read the Art of the Deal. If you didn’t, you’re FIRED! Jared is he a schlemiel or a schlimazel? It’s been so long since I insulted Crooked Hillary with Yiddish slurs, I forget. 
 First Son-in-Law Jared Kushner: He can be either, Dad. But in this case, I’d go with schlemiel, like your first instinct. Your first instincts are always the best, Dad. 
 Trump: Thanks Jared. You can go home now and wait for my call – I have a few other things you need to tell Bibi he has to do. 
 Acting White House Chief of Staff Mulvaney: Buying Greenland is a great idea boss. But we’ll need to give the American people some more reasons for the purchase. 
 Trump: OK, Mick – maybe you’re the schlimazel. I told you it’s the biggest and we have to own the biggest. But just think, we can build the BIGGEST golf course in the world. And look at the map. Look how high it is. You know the higher you are, the longer the drives. It will be an incredible course for all my duffer friends.  
 Mulvaney: Right, Mr. President. Forgive my ignorance. 
 Trump: But, we can’t start building for six years, until after I leave office. I don’t want "Little Pencil-Neck" Adam Schiff or "Fat-boy" Jerry Nadler accusing me of violating the Self-Immolation Clause.  
 Jared: It’s the Emolument Clause, Dad. 
 Trump: Didn’t I tell you to go home, Jared?   
Commerce Secretary Ross: I think it’s a great idea, Mr. President. And, with all due respect, after we buy it, why don’t we change the name like we did with the Virgin Islands after we bought them from Denmark. You know when Denmark owned them, they were called the Danish West Indies. And, I have the name: TRUMPLAND!   
Trump: I knew there was a reason I kept you around, Wilbur. Incredible idea. The most incredible, beautiful idea I’ve heard all day. Steve, work out the proposal. I want to open talks when I visit Denmark in September.  
 Mnuchin: OK, Mr. President, I just did a little back of the envelope noodling – 535 million acres at $1,000/acre (after all, it’s 75% ice) comes to about $535 billion, give or take. That’s a lot of money.   
Trump: It'll be a great buy. And you say it's 75% ice? Think about that. With our environmental policies, there'll probably be twice as much developable land in just a few years. It will be the deal of the century. Maybe of the millennium.   
Mnuchin: But it's still a lot of money. Where will we get the money? 
Trump: Steve, I can't believe you're my treasury secretary, you're such a  putz. We’ll take a mortgage. Don’t worry, Deutsche Bank will do anything for me. And after I browbeat that idiot Powell at the Fed a little more, the interest rate will be close to zero. And worse comes to worse, we’ll just divert the money from Medicaid, Food Stamps and all those other pansy social programs. And now that we won’t be paying benefits for those Mexican rapists and murderers, there’ll be money to spare. 


Mnuchin: I’m on it, Mr. President – And, we'll make sure Trumpland will be in displayed in Gold in every map!












Tuesday, August 13, 2019

EXCLUSIVE: Trump responds to Kim's "Beautiful Letter"




Satire from Ted Block 

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Trump Has Been Sending Creepy Handwritten Notes to Justin Trudeau

The president has been using his Zodiac Killer–inspired method of communicating to conduct matters of U.S. diplomacy - including hand-written notes to Kim Jong Un


Vanity Fair reported today that before Donald Trump became president, he had a long history of tearing out pages from magazines (or printing out offending articles), scrawling some nonsense in Sharpie, and mailing it to the party he believed had wronged him. But while most people in his current position probably would have dropped the habit—which feels not dissimilar to a kidnapper’s M.O. of cutting and pasting letters that spell “If you ever want to see your dog again...”—this particular president has been using his Zodiac Killer–inspired method of communicating to conduct matters of U.S. diplomacy.

According to VF, Axios reports that back in May 2017, Trump tore off the cover of Businessweek—which featured a picture of Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau and the headline “The Anti-Trump”—and wrote, in silver Sharpie, something to the effect of “Looking good! Hope it’s not true!” In spite of the concerns of some staffers, who were stricken with the crazy notion this was an inappropriate way to communicate with a foreign leader, the White House then sent the missive to the Canadian Embassy in Washington, where the Canadian ambassador thought he was being pranked. Per Axios, he called the White House to check, and was sadly told that the note was real.


As you know, Trump has also been corresponding with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un with hand-written notes. The last one, from Kim to Trump was characterized by the president as a “beautiful” letter.

Now, Around the Block has learned exclusively that Trump thought the Kim letter was so beautiful, he immediately sent a hand-written letter back to the Korean leader. And, through our inside source in the White House, Around the Block has obtained a copy of the Trump letter.*

*A full picture of the Trump letter to Kim is reproduced above and transcribed below. Due to technical difficulties, a full, readable copy could not be posted. If you require a copy of the original letter, please contact, Around the Block, PO Box 7777, Looneyville, Texas 75760 

THE WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTON

Dear Kim, (sorry, I know you call me Donald, but I never really understood whether your first name is Kim, or Jong or Un – so please accept my apologies ahead of time. I wanted to ask Jared (you remember Jared, – that tall skinny guy who is always lurking around my fantastically beautiful daughter, Ivanka – she is hot, you must admit) – but he was so busy fixing so many problems, I couldn’t find him.)

Your last letter to me was so beautiful. I really mean that. And I use that word with great pleasure. And believe me, I know pleasure -- did I ever tell you about Stormy Daniels? Maybe another time. As you know, I know lots of words, I have the best words. And beautiful is the best word to talk about your incredible, incredible letters to me. You have become my best pen-pal and I really love you for that! I mean sending me a beautiful 3-page letter is so fantastic because you know I never read anything more than 3 pages.

Thank you for telling me about all those short-range missile tests you held, after you held them. I take very seriously your apology for launching those rockets (remember when I used to call you Rocket Man – HaHaHa) I know some of the Democrat cry-babies here and some of my so-called allies in Europe and Asia were very upset. But don’t you worry one bit. I think they were great and if you don’t want to stop, just don’t. I love you no matter what you do and will back you all the way. You better believe it! You are a terrific guy and a really fantastic leader. Maybe the best leader, after me, in the world. Or maybe after me and Vlad. LOL

But given your fantastic, and I mean fantastic leadership, there is something really more important I need to talk to you about.

I read in the fake news here in America that you are not only your country’s supreme leader, you have taken on the responsibility as the one person who represents your country. Ivanka tells me that means you now have authority to be your country’s chief diplomat. That’s fantastic. You’re so lucky not have deal people like Tillerson and Pompeo and Kelly – well you know what I’m talking about. I mean the only guy around me I trust is that crazy John Bolton, but he hates you so much I have to almost tie him down so he doesn’t push the button that would obliterate your country!

Anyways, I'm so jealous of your new authority. When we meet next time, let’s make sure we talk about how you were able to get this done. I want to work with my aide Stephen Miller on this (he’s kind of a neo-Nazi, you know, but he’s fun to have around – what a sense of humor – must be his Jewish side) to see if we can do the same thing here.

In the meantime, stay well. Melania sends her love to Mrs. Kim (or is it Mrs. Jong, or Mrs. Un?).

See you on our next trip.

XOXOXOXO

Donald J.Trump

Our WH source has promised in the future to send any additional correspondence between the two regime leaders to Around the Block first because he doesn’t want these private discourses to “get into the hands of the fake news.”










Saturday, August 10, 2019

In Epstein case, AG "Lower the Bar" rushes into action to solve case


Satire from Ted Block 

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Jeffrey Epstein Dead in Suicide at Manhattan Jail, Officials Say

Appalled AG “Lower the Bar” Barr to go beyond conventional resources; will pick the world’s best criminal detectives to investigate


In breaking news this Saturday morning, Jeffrey Epstein was found dead of an apparent suicide at a Federal Manhattan jail.

Attorney General William P. “Lower the Bar” Barr said in a statement that he was “appalled” to learn of Epstein’s death in federal custody, which he said, “raises serious questions that must be answered.” He said that in addition to the FBI’s investigation, he had consulted with the Justice Department’s inspector general, whose office also would look into the incident.

But not looking to rely on what he considers a suspicious FBI or a potential politically-influenced DOJ IG’s office, Around the Block has exclusively learned that Barr, in an attempt to avoid any appearance of bias, is also assembling a team of the world’s best criminal detective minds to do an independent investigation of the incident.

A Barr insider has told Around the Block, on the condition of anonymity because he wasn’t authorized to speak, that Barr has called and received agreement from eight internationally renowned sleuths to become members of the special inquiry group (SIG) with each responding to the AG in their own inimitable way.  


Columbo – “Just one more thing, Mr. Barr.”
Dirty Harry – “Thanks, General Barr. You’ve made my day." 
Sherlock Holmes – “This is elementary, Mr. Barr" 
Hercule Poirot – “Mon ami, Monsieur Barr, the voices of the little gray cells have begun to sing to Poirot." 
Dick Tracy – “Hold on a minute while I find my 2-way decoder watch." 
Inspector Clouseau  – “Oui, this IZ Inspector Clouseau speaking on the pheaun. How ken I halp?" 
Jessica Fletcher – “I don’t want to alarm you, Mr. Barr, but something very sinister is going on.” 
Joe Friday – "Just the facts. Barr, just the facts."
But in the most important appointment, sources tell us that Barr, on the basis of this leaked :30 second telephone call, has chosen the greatest detective of them all, Maxwell Smart, to lead SIG.


Barr: Max, I need your help; I’d like you to lead a special investigative team I’m assembling.
Max: Sorry about that Chief, but only if I can bring Agent 99 along. 
Max: I asked you not to call me Chief. But if it’s Agent 99 you want, it’s Agent 99 you get. 
Max: Thanks, Chief. (In an apparent aside to Agent 99 after he had pushed the defective mute button on his Shoe Phone, "Would you believe he said yes?") 
Barr: I asked you not to call me Chief. And Max, I heard that…but I need you and 99 anyway. 
Max: OK, but don’t tell me I have to start tomorrow. 
Barr: You have to start tomorrow.
Max: I told you not to tell me that.





Wednesday, August 7, 2019

The Huckabees: Like Father, like daughter; and Trump "Healer in Chief"



AROUND THE BLOCK

I learned…


I learned today that sometimes you just can’t make stuff up.

Long time readers of Around the Block will remember that for several years I sub-titled my posts: “News with a Twist.” The idea was to report on a real news story and then expand on it using my satirical imagination to drive the news home. 

Posts included:
  • "Trump: Hillary Got Schlonged,” the first in a 3-part series on Trump’s use of Yiddish;
  • “Maine governor slip of the tongue may require therapy,” a riff on Governor Paul LePage’s racist comments;
  • “Clintons/Trump -- Sleaze and Sleazier,” no explanation necessary; 
  • “Bornstein: Not schizophrenia but Breitbart Withdrawal Syndrome (BbWS);” one of a series on Trump’s crazy doctor... 
Well you get the point.

Now, if I was still doing “News with a Twist,” a Huff Post story about a blog post by Mike Huckabee, former Arkansas governor, former GOP presidential candidate and father of former White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee “Colonel” Sanders, would not have required my satirical imagination.

Mike Huckabee: Thoughts And Prayers Are ‘Only Thing’ That Will Stop Mass Shootings

The former Arkansas governor suggested the lack of thoughts and prayers is the real reason why mass shootings keep happening.
By David Moye – Huffington Post 
This weekend’s mass shootings in El Paso, Texas, and Dayton, Ohio,have many people demanding that something be done to stop gun violence.
However, Mike Huckabee insists there’s only one solution to curbing the violence and it’s ― you guessed it ― “thoughts and prayers,” that time-honored solution of pretending to do something without actually doing anything.
On Monday, the former Arkansas governor and twice Republican presidential candidate  wrote a post on his blog where he attempted to make the case that “thoughts and prayers” are “the only thing that’s ever really going to help.”
Despite all those who are denouncing the idea of prayers for the victims (do a Google search for “Thoughts and prayers are not enough” and see how many hits you get), I will continue to pray for the victims and their families and for an end to this mindless violence, and I hope you will, too.
In fact, ... I would posit that the lack of thought and prayers is probably the single biggest factor in what is behind them.

Huckabee said mass shootings will never stop until “kids are brought up once again to believe that we are all made in the image of God, that life is sacred and superficial differences like skin color are meaningless.”
He added:
Until then, passing more laws and pointing more fingers is just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
That’s why I will keep ignoring the scoffers and saying prayers and urging everyone to join together and do the same.

Huckabee also criticized current Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke for calling President Donald Trump a “racist” for a really bizarre reason: “I also don’t see how someone who has repeatedly denied being racist can be an ‘open, avowed racist.’”
We’re sending out thoughts and prayers that Huckabee will figure out that denying you’re a racist does not count as proof that what you do and say are not racist.
In case you missed it, let me repeat Huckabee’s final statement, “I also don’t see how someone who has repeatedly denied being racist can be an ‘open, avowed racist.’”
As I said, you cannot make this stuff up!
One last, REALLY IMPORTANT thought –
Donald Trump is making a presidential “healing” tour of Dayton and El Paso today. The mayor of Dayton, Nan Whaley said she would respectfully welcome the nation’s elected leader to her city while adding, “When he comes as president, I will greet him. I hope he’s coming here to add value and to help our community, and I hope it’s not about just a press hit, and I hope it’s about him actually doing something.”
In El Paso however, the Times reports, “some of the city’s political leaders have urged Mr. Trump not to visit, including the Democratic congresswoman from the area, Representative Veronica Escobar, and her predecessor, Beto O’Rourke, a candidate for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination. ‘He should not come out here while we’re in mourning,’ Ms. Escobar said on Monday.
The Times continued, “Mr. Trump lashed out at Mr. O’Rourke on Twitter late Tuesday, saying he had a ‘phony name to indicate Hispanic heritage’ and telling him to 'be quiet.’ Mr. O’Rourke responded that 'El Paso will not be quiet, and neither will I.’”
Congresswoman Escobar has been asked to join Trump in his El Paso motorcade and appearance. When she asked the White House that she would like to first phone the President to discuss the appearance, the response was, “The President is too busy to take a call.”

Right, the "President is too busy" to take a call from the sitting Congresswoman from the district that just endured the slaughter of 32 innocent people by a white supremacist with an assault rifle!

What, was it "executive time," or was the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door while he was watching Fox and Friends?
By the way, in his comments on the South Lawn before leaving for the trip, Trump said, "...we'll be meeting with first responders, law enforcement and some of the victims," going on to say, "it's a terrific opportunity to congratulate some of the police and law enforcement -- the job they've done was incredible, simply incredible."

And, in response to the local politicians in the cities who have been critical of him, "...these are people who supported Hillary, supported Bernie, support Warren. They have nothing to do with Trump."
And there you have it, the "Healer in Chief," the "President of all the people of the United States" in full display.
I repeat: You can’t make this stuff up!