Email option "off the table" for Clinton

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Clinton camp looking at future messaging options

Email disaster leads to complete evaluation of how communication will be handled going forward

Stung by both the recent James Comey announcement that emails found on former, disgraced congressman Anthony Weiner’s computer might be relevant to the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s private email server as well as the constant drip of campaign chairman John Podesta’s emails from WikiLeaks, Clinton insiders are exploring communication options when she becomes president.

“Around the Block” has learned exclusively that staffers have compiled a list of potential communications alternatives and are poised to present the options to Mrs. Clinton and other senior members of her inner circle on November 9, the day after the election. While not complete, as of this writing, the following is what they are considering:

Communication Option	Pros	Cons
Smoke Signals	Messages dissipate over time, can't be reviewed; no possible subpoenas Don’t need fancy equipment Only “hackable” if hacker is looking at the smoke Might be fun building fires	Limited, line of sight range Less useful after sunset Can’t use on “Spare the Air” days
Drums	Similar to smoke regarding dissipation/review and subpoenas Only “hackable” if hacker is listening when drums beat Work day and night in all kinds of weather	Drums with decent range are expensive Even best drums have limited range Message can be muddled if sent in vicinity of a rock concert
Carrier Pigeons	Long-ish range (for a bird) Can be deployed from any rooftop Less vulnerable to hackers Bird seed is cheap	Bird poop is disgusting Vulnerable to shotguns, rifles and drones Skinny bird legs limit message length
Cans Attached by String	Safe from hackers, sniffers, listening devices, etc. Really cheap Added benefit: you can eat or drink the contents before deploying system	Welch’s Frozen Grape Juice cans work best but hard to find nowadays Correspondents need to be in the same room "Can you hear me now?" problems: Clarity may be spotty if string isn’t taut enough

While there has been no final decision on which method of communication will be deployed, it has been unequivocally determined that email is not being considered. According to one Clinton staffer, speaking on the condition of anonymity, “One thing is for sure – we’ll never use email again. I mean, do you think we’re that stupid?”