Trump did receive Scouts call...a robo call for a donation

Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Trump did take a call from the Boy Scouts

It was a robocall solicitation

While news of the leaking of transcripts of President Trump’s contentious calls with President Enrique Peña Nieto of Mexico and Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull of Australia early in his presidential tenure is making the headlines, Around the Block has learned exclusively that Trump indeed did take a call with the Boy Scouts.

Or, at least he thought he did.

A White House source, speaking on the condition of anonymity, leaked a transcript of a call from the Boy Scouts of America to President Trump. It was however, not a call from one of the leaders of the Scout organization, as Trump claimed, but rather a sophisticated robocall the Boy Scouts have been using to solicit donations.

The advanced robocall technology used by the Boy Scouts is voice and context sensitive; it has the ability to listen to the conversation and provide real-time responses based on what it hears. So while the president thought he was talking to one of the leaders of the Boy Scouts, he was actually engaging in a conversation with a very intelligent computer.

Here’s the transcript: 

• Trump: Hello, this is President Donald J. Trump

• Scout: (Pause) Hello, President Donald J. Trump, this is the Boy Scouts of America calling to thank you for your support.

• T: Oh, I’m sure you’re calling to congratulate me on my magnificent speech at the Jamboree. I’m sure it was the greatest speech ever given to you.

• S: (Pause) Again thank you for your support. It means a lot to the Boy Scouts We are always looking for people who can speak about the Boy Scouts.

• T: I love the Boy Scouts, let me tell you. I heard that there were some reports that my speech got mixed reviews. There was no mix there. That was a standing ovation from the time I walked out to the time I left, and for five minutes after I had already gone. There was no mix.

• S: (Pause) And we love your support. And that support can be a mix of cash and non-cash items...

• T: Hold on, hold on. I need to put you on hold for a minute. My caller ID says I’m getting a call from Mexico. It must be the president of Mexico who’s probably calling to praise me for reducing the number of border crossings on his southern border…

 At this point, the transcript ended, apparently because the line went dead.

Sources inside the White House revealed that in an attempt to take the call from Mexico the president pushed the * key, not the #, disconnecting both calls. They went on to say that a trace of the Mexican call by the NSA indicated it did not come from Mexico's president but was a robocall offer for a new timeshare resort in Cabo.

We've also learned that new chief of staff General John Kelly, in his commitment to maintaining Marine-style discipline and professionalism in the West Wing, has scheduled the president for remedial telephone technique lessons beginning tomorrow morning. These lessons will pre-empt the President’s Daily Briefing since, sources say, the president “doesn’t pay attention to the briefing and doesn’t think he needs it.”