Spicer/McCarthy out at WH/SNL, Scaramucci/? in at WH/SNL

Satire from Ted Block

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Spicer out, Scaramucci in at White House

Melissa McCarthy makes last-minute call to Spicer urging him to stay

(Note: Some readers may have noticed that Around the Block has not appeared in over two months. For those who have written or called asking “what’s up,” I apologize for the silence. For those who haven’t noticed, I apologize for now coming back and interrupting your day.

There are two reasons for my recent inactivity: Issues regarding my living conditions have taken up most of my time and energy (fire in my home's attic with enough smoke and structural damage to keep us out of the house until the late fall); and the fact that the real news recently has been so ridiculous there’s little call for any more  “twisting.” (Even my idol and inspiration, the New Yorker’s Andy Borowitz has been publishing fewer pieces – and my guess is he didn't have a house fire for an excuse).

But the Spicer situation is worthy of satire. And, a White House communications director named Tony “the Mooch” Scaramucci? Give me a break – this news called for a “twisted” return!

So now the return of News with a Twist

  
White House press secretary Sean Spicer resigned today after informing President Trump that appointing finance, entrepreneur and Trump friend Anthony Scaramucci as communications director would be a “terrible mistake.”

According to sources inside the White House (and yes, in this administration there are always sources inside the White House) Spicer was not the only one opposed to Scaramucci’s hiring. His deputy, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, was as well. So, too, was chief of staff Reince Priebus and chief strategist Steve Bannon, who vocally opposed Trump’s decision.

However, Scaramucci prevailed after a reported 30-minute interview with Trump and White House special advisor and Trump senior daughter, Ivanka.

Now moving to the really important news, Around the Block has learned exclusively that Melissa McCarthy, who famously and hilariously plays Spicer on Saturday Night Live, put in a last-minute call to Spicer Thursday morning urging him not to quit.

According to White House sources who were surreptitiously listening in to the call (Note: White House sources have told Around the Block that 75% of White House sources secretly listen in to White House calls and/or conversations), McCarthy pleaded with Spicer to stay on. “This is the best gig I’ve ever had,” McCarthy told Spicer. “Everyone knows me and is talking about me. You’ve made me a Hollywood A-lister. You can’t leave.”

Spicer, apparently unmoved by McCarthy’s appeal responded, “Melissa, I’m sorry. You do a great me and I’ll always cherish your portrayal. But I’m a man of conviction and principle with upstanding moral rectitude and I just have to resign.”

Reports from our Hollywood sources tell us that after hanging up with Spicer, the distraught McCarthy immediately called Lorne Michaels, SNL executive producer, to pitch for the job of playing Scaramucci on future SNL episodes. “I can do Scaramucci,” McCarthy reportedly told Michaels. “After Spicer, I can do anybody.”

While Michaels complimented McCarthy on her broad range as a character actor and comic, he told her that he had already cast the role of Scaramucci, picking former Sopranos star Michael Imperioli, who famously played Tony Soprano’s nephew Christopher Moltisanti.

When McCarthy protested saying that Imperioli doesn’t have the right experience – “he’s not a comic and has never done live TV” – Michaels responded, “Well, Scaramucci has no communications or government experience, so I think we’re on solid ground here.”