Satire from Ted Block
News with a Twist
Mar-a-Lago security event with Japan’s Abe
spawns plan for future presidential meeting venues
Tickets to be sold for NSC meetings to be held at Madison Square Garden
One week after President Donald J. Trump turned the dining room terrace of
his resort, Mar-a-Lago, into an open-air national security situation room, the president has decided to parlay that experience into a money making endeavor to
make America great again.
As widely reported, after the president was advised of reports of a North Korean ballistic missile test, Mar-a-Lago patrons watched as Trump and Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe remained at their dinner table and discussed their response to North Korea. While waiters came and went — and while one club member snapped photos — the two leaders reviewed documents by the light of an aide’s cellphone.
Since only club members and their guests are allowed in the Mar-a-Lago dining room, and dues for that privilege cost $200,000 per year, Trump has determined that charging admission to other formerly secured presidential meetings could generate millions of dollars of revenue. Most of that revenue (less sales commissions) would be turned over to the U.S. Treasury, thereby helping to make America great again.
According to White House sources, the first events for which admission will be charged will be National Security Council meetings, which, going forward, will be held at Madison Square Garden in New York.
Firm ticket prices have not yet been set, but it is understood that the best seats, to be known as the Trump Platinum Level, will be priced at $20,000 while seats in the “400-level (blue) Second Balcony” will sell for as little as $100.
While most of the proceeds will go to the Treasury, it is understood that tickets will be brokered by a newly formed ticket agency, Make America Great Again Events (www.makeamericagreatagainevents.com) which will take a 25% commission on all ticket sales and be run by Trump’s other daughter Tiffany.
Tiffany, who to this point has not participated in any of the Trump family businesses and has been looking for something to do to take advantage of her father’s position, is rumored to have gotten the job after suggesting to Mr. Trump that photo booths be set up during the National Security Council events (i.e., meetings) offering ticket holders the opportunity to have pictures taken with the man holding the “nuclear football,” the contents of which are to be used by the president to authorize a nuclear attack. While there is only one real nuclear football, Tiffany apparently clinched the job when she recommended to her father that he authorize as many as 20 aides carrying additional fake footballs in order to maximize revenue from the photo ops. It is not confirmed, since they will be fake, whether the other footballs will be made in China.
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