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Trump Supporters to Wear Brown Shirts
at Rallies
Campaign wants to
avoid mistaken sucker punches
In a move that will
potentially eliminate confusion at future Donald J. Trump rallies, a campaign
spokesperson announced today that going forward all Trump supporters at the
gatherings would be issued brown shirts at the door in order to distinguish
Trump backers from Trump protesters.
Katrina Pierson, Trump’s
primary spokesperson for distasteful statements, said, “Look, it’s getting confusing
out there. While our supporters outnumber protestors by at least 100-1, Mr.
Trump wants to make sure there is no question that when one of our people wants
to sucker punch a demonstrator, he can be sure he’s punching the right person.”
Pierson went on to say,
“Historically, brown shirts have been a very successful rally differentiator –
separating the good guys from the bad guys – and we just wanted to make sure
everyone knows who the good guys are.”
When questioned about the
historical significance of brown shirts, specifically that the attire was worn
by the Nazi Sturmabteilung (SA), otherwise known as “Brownshirts,” the
original paramilitary wing of the Nazi Party charged with the role of providing
protection at Nazi rallies during Adolf Hitler’s rise to power, Ms. Pierson
said, “Mr. Trump does not know anything about the SA, Brownshirts, the Nazi
party or Adolf Hitler. He doesn’t even think he’s ever met Adolf Hitler. But if
the media wants him to disavow Hitler, he will, OK? He will.
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