Quicken Loans Arena bans firearms; RNC considers alternate sites

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Petition to allow guns at the Republican Convention gaining steam

Candidates Trump and Cruz support the idea

An online petition seeking to allow guns at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland in July has garnered more than 21,000 supporters.

Quicken Loans Arena, the site of the RNC, does not allow firearms or any other weapons on its premises, despite Ohio being an open carry state.

The petition, started Monday, said the Arena’s policy is “a direct affront to the Second Amendment” and “puts all attendees at risk.”

“Without the right to protect themselves, those at the Quicken Loans Arena will be sitting ducks, utterly helpless against evil-doers, criminals or others who wish to threaten the American way of life,” the group said in a statement.

The petition’s argument is in line with the National Rifle Association’s oft-repeated argument that “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun.”

The two leading Republican presidential candidates, Donald Trump and Ted Cruz, immediately expressed support for the petition.

Trump’s campaign issued a statement saying, “Mr. Trump is fully supportive of our 2^nd Amendment right to carry guns and believes it is critical for his supporters at the convention, the good guys, to protect themselves from Lyin’ Ted’s bad guys.”

In a rare display of general agreement between the candidates, Cruz’s campaign said that the senator “supports our God-given right to bear arms” and feels that right is particularly important at the Republican convention where there will “clearly be both good guys and bad guys.”

In the only discord between the campaigns’ support of the petition, the Cruz campaign was strongly offended by Trump’s characterization of their supporters as the bad guys, saying, “Senator Cruz believes that Donald has stooped to a new low today, since everyone knows that the real bad guys out there are the people supporting Sleazy Donald.”

For it’s part the Republican National Committee has not issued a formal position regarding the petition. But, we have learned that RNC Chairman, Rance Priebus, is considering convening an emergency meeting of the RNC Convention Committee to consider alternative sites in the event the Quicken Loans Arena stands by its policy to not allow firearms into the arena. The the leading alternative site is rumored to be the O.K. Corral in the city of Tombstone Arizona.

Does Chachi endorsement, portend others - Laverne, Shirley, Lenny, Squiggy?

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Scott Baio, Happy Days star, endorses Donald Trump

Joins growing list of celebrity Trump endorsers

In a stunning endorsement that many pundits say might put Donald Trump’s presidential nomination bid over the top, legendary TV personality Scott Baio endorsed the front-running businessman today.

In making the endorsement, Baio, best known for his role as Chachi on the sitcom Happy Days and its spin-off Joanie Loves Chachi, said, “It’s very simple, when he speaks I understand him. He speaks like I speak.”

Mr. Baio’s endorsement rationale is particularly surprising given that a recent Boston Globe analysis reported that Mr. Trump talks to voters in a way that can be understood by a fourth-grader. It was assumed, but not confirmed, that Mr. Baio was somewhat above that level.

The endorsement adds Mr. Baio to the growing list of celebrities supporting Mr. Trump including Kid Rock (Rapper), Stephen Baldwin (the other, other, other, Baldwin brother), Hulk Hogan (pro wrestler and successful litigant), Gary Busey (no one’s sure what he is), Dennis Rodman (former NBA player, tattoo model and North Korean emissary), Mike Tyson (former heavyweight boxing champion and ear gourmand), Wayne Newton (singer and honorary member of the Las Vegas Wax Museum), Tila Tequila (host of a bisexual- themed dating show and “World is Flat” advocate), among others.

It is unclear whether other notable Happy Days spin-off stars, including Laverne, Shirley, Lenny or Squiggy, will follow Chachi's lead and endorse Mr. Trump as well.

Romney exhibiting support schizophrenia; Graham finds poison antidote

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Republican establishment ups the “Stop Trump” campaign

Wait, what? Mitt Romney and Lindsey Graham switch gears; look to Cruz as Savior (figuratively)

In the continuing attempt to “Stop Trump,” establishment Republicans are doing whatever they can to encourage voters to support anyone but Donald Trump.

Mitt Romney, the 2012 Republican presidential nominee, announced today that he would vote for Senator Ted Cruz in Tuesday’s Utah caucuses.

When questioned, Romney’s aides said that the vote in Utah is not an endorsement, saying, “Governor Romney is not endorsing Senator Cruz because frankly, he can’t stand the man and everything he stands for. He simply can't stand Donald Trump more.”

Romney, who last week campaigned in Ohio for Cruz rival Ohio Governor John Kasich, said at the time, “If I lived in Ohio, I would vote for John Kasich.”

Although Romney’s statements regarding for whom he would vote have been confusing, a Romney spokesperson, Elder Smith Young, would not confirm whether Mr. Romney would be checking into the Provo Center for Mental Rehabilitation to treat what many people are suggesting is a classic case of “Trump Induced Republican Electoral Schizophrenic Syndrome (aka TIRES Syndrome).”

Romney’s wavering, but non-endorsement, support of “anyone but Trump” was actually Trumped earlier today by South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham’s endorsement of Cruz.

Graham, who dropped out of the presidential race himself earlier this year, said at the time, regarding the potential of supporting either a Trump or Cruz candidacy, “It's like being shot or poisoned. What does it really matter?"

Regarding his endorsement of Cruz today, a Graham spokesperson, Rufus Chittleworth, clarified the senator’s earlier statement, saying, “To be clear, the senator’s comments at the time equated supporting Cruz to being poisoned and Trump to being shot,” going on to say, “Since that time the senator has been undergoing intensive poison antidote treatment at the South Carolina Poison and Political Flip-Flopping Institute and now feels that a Cruz endorsement no longer poses any risk to his health.”

Chittleworth could not answer whether the endorsement posed any risk to what remains of Graham’s reputation.

Trump claims British imports not as bad as products from "other" countries

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Trump 757 Plane Has Foreign-Made Engines

Blames plane’s original owner and Washington bureaucrats

As Donald J. Trump’s personal Boeing 757-200, bringing Trump to a massive campaign rally, rolled up to a hangar in Dayton, Ohio it was clearly apparent that one thing that Trump needs to do to “Make America Great Again” is to replace the engines on the plane.

The plane, which Trump purchased from Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen in 2011, is outfitted with Rolls-Royce engines.

Rolls-Royce Holdings plc is a British multinational public holding company headquartered in City of Westminster, London.  

In a check with Rand McNally, Around The Block confirmed that the City of Westminster, London is in the United Kingdom, not the United States.

In a call to Boeing, Around The Block learned that the Boeing 757-200 has two engine options – the British-made Rolls Royce models and engines made by Pratt and Whitney, an American company.

When asked why the candidate, who rails about imports from China, Japan, Mexico and other countries, would have a plane with foreign made engines, Trump chief spokesperson for Trump inconsistencies, Katrina Pierson, said, “Mr. Trump purchased the plane from Paul Allen. So if anyone should be criticized for buying foreign, it should be Paul Allen.”

When it was suggested that Mr. Trump has owned the plane for five years, plenty of time to switch out the engines to an American brand, Ms. Pierson responded, “Look, switching engines on a plane like this is very complicated and needs to be done in conjunction with federal aviation authorities…Washington bureaucrats. And you know how Washington bureaucrats follow Barak Obama's bad for business, obstructionist, policies. Once Mr. Trump is president and does away with wasteful government agencies like the FAA, we will quickly and easily replace the engines."

Ms. Pierson went on to say, “Look, one other thing. These are British engines. While Mr. Trump always prefers American-made, British products are kind of OK. After all, British people are more like us, unlike people from China, Japan, Mexico and places like that.”

Despite brown shirt use, Trump claims he never met Hitler; disavows anyway

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Trump Supporters to Wear Brown Shirts at Rallies

Campaign wants to avoid mistaken sucker punches

In a move that will potentially eliminate confusion at future Donald J. Trump rallies, a campaign spokesperson announced today that going forward all Trump supporters at the gatherings would be issued brown shirts at the door in order to distinguish Trump backers from Trump protesters.

Katrina Pierson, Trump’s primary spokesperson for distasteful statements, said, “Look, it’s getting confusing out there. While our supporters outnumber protestors by at least 100-1, Mr. Trump wants to make sure there is no question that when one of our people wants to sucker punch a demonstrator, he can be sure he’s punching the right person.”

Pierson went on to say, “Historically, brown shirts have been a very successful rally differentiator – separating the good guys from the bad guys – and we just wanted to make sure everyone knows who the good guys are.”

When questioned about the historical significance of brown shirts, specifically that the attire was worn by the Nazi Sturmabteilung (SA), otherwise known as “Brownshirts,” the original paramilitary wing of the Nazi Party charged with the role of providing protection at Nazi rallies during Adolf Hitler’s rise to power, Ms. Pierson said, “Mr. Trump does not know anything about the SA, Brownshirts, the Nazi party or Adolf Hitler. He doesn’t even think he’s ever met Adolf Hitler. But if the media wants him to disavow Hitler, he will, OK? He will.