Satire from Ted Block
AROUND THE BLOCK
News
with a Twist
Furor erupts over Trump alleged
invention of “prime the pump”
Doubling down, Trump
orders Spicer to distribute statement with many more Trump invented expressions
The ensuing furor over his contention that he invented the phrase “prime the pump” took over several news cycles as pundits and average citizens alike derisively pointed out that the expression was first used in the late 1800s to explain the idea for pouring liquid into a pump to make it work, and more recently in the 1930s, in an economic sense, to signify government efforts to stimulate the economy – the context of the expression for which Trump said he invented.
Trump, not a person known to take derision easily, doubled down on his alleged idiomatic invention by ordering White House press spokesman Sean Spicer to distribute a statement, written by the President, which defends his “prime the pump” contention but also uses many other idiomatic expressions which he claims to have invented.
As Spicer handed out the statement, he informed the press corps that any expression printed in italics was one “invented by the president.”
Following is Trump’s statement:
“I understand the crooked media, particularly MSNBC, CNN and “Stupid” Paul Krugman of the New York Times are making hay over my saying that I invented the expression prime the pump. I’m not going to beat around the bush. But I am going to rain on their parade. Look, it’s not rocket science. When I say I did something, the crooked media is just going to have to bite the bullet, get their act together and call it a day.
To make a long story short, I’m not going to let them off the hook. And while I have been saving this for a rainy day, I am going to spill the beans right now – when it comes to the presidency, I am the best thing since sliced bread. This administration is cooking with gas and we’re going for the whole nine yards. But we will not bite off more than we can chew or do anything that costs an arm and a leg, unless it benefits rich people like me because, after all, birds of a feather stick together.
And to “Stupid” Paul Krugman in particular, I say this – when it comes to criticizing Donald J. Trump, you’re barking up the wrong tree. I wouldn’t give a penny for your thoughts. My advice to you: don’t quit your day job.