New series "Lock Them Up" will feature Christie's mock prosecutions

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Chris Christie to star in new TV show, “Lock Them Up”

Teams with Roger Ailes for mock prosecution series

Coming off his stunning mock prosecution at the Republican National Convention of presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton for crimes against humanity , New Jersey governor and former federal prosecutor Chris Christie is rumored to be planning a new TV show with disgraced former Fox News Channel chairman Roger Ailes.

The show, to be called “Lock Them Up,” will feature Christie, a former federal prosecutor, bringing to trial people who have aggrieved Christie and/or Ailes, including any senior members of the Democratic Party and selected op-ed writers and editors at the New York Times and the Washington Post and anyone affiliated with MSNBC.

In a genre twist, the show will not allow the accused to defend themselves and will prosecute them, not before a judge and jury, but before a rabid mob selected on the basis of having already pre-determined that the accused should be ‘locked up.’

According to Christie, “As you know, I'm a former federal prosecutor and, at that time, was subject to the theory that there should be fair trials and no prosecutional overreach. On “Lock Them Up,” with no bothersome judge or defense attorney, we will have the ability to throw those rules out the window.”

Aides, who will be executive producer, added that “We are selecting the accused right now and hope to start with a lineup, no pun intended, that includes former president Bill Clinton, New York Times columnist and Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman, Senator Elizabeth Warren, Attorney General Loretta Lynch, MSNBC host Rachel Maddow and soon to be former president, Barak Obama. And, of course we intend to kick the show off with a replay of Chris’ prosecution of Hillary Clinton at the RNC.”

In another twist, the prosecutions will not be held in a court room but in famous mob-crazy venues including the Coliseum in Rome and the Nuremberg Parade Grounds.

And in a particularly exciting announcement, Ailes said that “Former New York City mayor, Rudolph Giuliani will appear on the show periodically as a guest prosecutor.” 

It is believed that Giuliani, also a former federal prosecutor, will only be identified as ‘former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani' because Christie’s contract stipulates that only Christie himself can be called a ‘former federal prosecutor.’ A Christie source indicated that not only has the governor trademarked the term, but has applied for a name change and will be identified going forward as Chris ‘Former Federal Prosecutor’ Christie.

It is rumored that Giuliani's first prosecution will be former Fox News anchor Gretchen Carlson who has recently sued Ailes for sexual harassment.