Satire from Ted Block
AROUND THE BLOCK
News with a Twist
Smugglers
are sawing through new sections of Trump’s border wall
Using $100 cordless saws from Home Depot
The Washington
Post reported today that smuggling gangs in Mexico have repeatedly sawed
through new sections of President Trump’s border wall in recent months by using
commercially available power tools, opening gaps large enough for people and
drug loads to pass through, according to U.S. agents and officials with
knowledge of the damage.
According
to the Post, the breaches have been made using a popular cordless household
tool known as a reciprocating saw that retails at hardware stores for as little
as $100. When fitted with specialized blades, the saws can slice through one of
the barrier’s steel-and-concrete bollards in a matter of minutes, according to
the agents, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not
authorized to speak publicly about the barrier-defeating techniques.
Consulting
engineers told the Post, “After cutting through the base of a single bollard,
smugglers can push the steel out of the way, allowing an adult to fit through
the gap. Because the bollards are so tall — and are attached only to a panel at
the very top — their length makes them easier to push aside once they have been
cut and are left dangling.”
While Trump’s taxpayer-funded barrier has cost $10 billion so
far, and has been described by the president variously as “a big beautiful wall,”
“a great wall, because I know how to build,” “virtually impenetrable,” “the
Rolls-Royce of walls,” it appears not only not great and beautiful, but “penetrable.”
In an interview with Around the Block, Carlos
Diego Garcia y Vega, a noted smuggler using a pseudonym to protect his identity,
said,
"No puedo creer lo fácil que es atravesar este muro. Simplemente compramos las herramientas en Tijuana Home Depot y simplemente cortamos, cortamos, cortamos. Lo único que le digo a mi tripulación es que no compre esa basura estadounidense Black & Decker. Compramos Makita. Ahora los japoneses, saben cómo construir cosas."
(“I can’t believe how easy it is to cut through this wall. We just buy the
tools at the Tijuana Home Depot and just cut, cut, cut. The one thing I tell my
crew, don’t buy that American Black & Decker junk, We buy Makita. Now the Japanese, they know how to build things.")
Garcia y Vega added:
"Gracias a Dios, México no pagó el muro; si lo hicieran, habrían exigido un muro más fuerte y una garantía de devolución de dinero. Nunca podríamos ver a través de un muro financiado por México.."
("Thank God Mexico didn’t pay for the wall; if they did, they would have
demanded a stronger wall and a money-back guarantee. We would never be able to saw
through a Mexican-funded wall.")
