Schlongedgate II - Trump Kvetches

AROUND THE BLOCK

News with a Twist

Schlongedgate II

Trump Kvetches About Media Coverage

In a major escalation of Schlongedgate, Donald Trump went public with his kvetches about main stream media (MSM) coverage of his recent accusation that Hillary Clinton "got schlonged" by Barak Obama in 2008.

In a campaign rally in Iowa, Trump appeared visibly verklempt as he insisted he did not use the word in reference to male genitalia, calling the entire affair a shanda. To substantiate his claim, Trump called on his campaign’s Yiddish expert, Dr. Chaim Pippick, who confirmed that Yiddish can indeed be a complicated language, explaining that while today’s conventional definition of schlong does refer to male genitalia (Dr. Pippick refrained from using the word “penis” saying, he would only do so if a Mohel was present), in mid-18^th century Russia and Poland it also meant “being beaten badly” as in “the Cossacks really schlonged the Jews in the shetl today”.

In a rare example of being able to use a Yiddish word as both a verb and a noun in the same sentence, Trump went on the say, “Oy gevalt, I'm shvitzing so badly I have to take some time out from my schedule today so that I can take a shvitz”.

In response to Trump’s remarks, the Washington Post, which has been leading the Schlongedgate coverage (clearly with an eye on the Pulitzer), announced late yesterday that it had also hired a Yiddush linguist, Dr. Pippick’s arch rival, Dr. Tevye Teitelbaum who immediately intensified the controversy by referring to Dr. Pippick as a schlemiel, a schlemazzle, and a schmeggegge, otherwise known as the holy trinity of Yiddish insults.

In a further development, Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon.com and the owner of the Washington Post, announced this morning that all Kindle edition books of both Drs. Pippick and Teitelbaum would go on sale for $.01 in order to allow the general public to be better informed on the nuances of the Yiddish language.