AROUND THE BLOCK
News with a Twist
Trump Says Hillary Got Schlonged
Vows to Use Yiddish Word in Every Future Appearance
In a campaign stop in Grand Rapids, Donald J. Trump used a
well-known Yiddish term to characterize Hillary Clinton’s loss to Barak Obama
in the 2008 Democratic primary claiming, "She was favored to win,
and she got schlonged". The Clinton campaign immediately responded by
demanding that Trump offer an apology. Clinton spokesperson, Lyle Littlechurch said
that Mrs. Clinton was appalled by Mr. Trump’s characterization of her loss in
2008 and in particular Trump’s use of the word “schlong” which, in conventional
usage is the Yiddish word for penis saying, “it’s particularly galling that
Trump would use the word “schlong” in this context when everyone knows former
President Bill Clinton had nothing whatsoever to do with her loss”.
Rather than apologize, Trump doubled down by referencing Hillary’s
prolonged use of the restroom at the last Democratic debate as "too
disgusting" to talk about saying, “look, I don’t know if she was pishn or
kakn but all I can say is that it was disgusting. It was disgusting.”
The coverage of “Schlongedgate” has received massive airtime
during the current news cycle, so much so that one network, MSNBC, said that it
was airing the 1972 documentary “Yiddishisms in American Presidential Politics”
tonight at 7:00 pm Eastern time (MSNBC said that it would not air the
documentary in the Pacific time zone since “no one out there would understand
it”).
Trump has been so thrilled by Schlongedgate that the campaign
announced earlier today that it has hired the world famous Yiddish linguist Dr.
Chaim Pippick to advise the campaign on Yiddishims going forward. Promising that he would use
Yiddish wherever and whenever possible, Trump’s campaign spokesperson, Yvonne
Yankelovich said that Dr. Pippick has already supplied Mr. Trump with a list of
the most beloved Yiddish words and epithets, including schlemiel, schlemazzle,
schmeggegge, schlub, schlock, schlep, schmutz, and schnook.
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