In disavowing Trump, Putin claims he would vote for Hillary if he could

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Vladimir Putin disavows relationship with Donald Trump

Putin calls Trump псих (crazy) 

In a stunning and unprecedented news conference in Moscow, Russian president Vladimir Putin disavowed any connection with American Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump.

Responding to critics* inside Russia who claim Mr. Putin is becoming too close to Mr. Trump, the Russian president said that Trump is too crazy and unstable to be a world leader and that if he had the opportunity to vote in the upcoming American election, he would vote for Hillary Clinton, even though she is known to be his arch enemy and the two hate each other.

“I do not know this Donald Trump character. I have never met him, despite his claims that we met when we were both on the phony Americanskie TV news show 60 Minutes since the segments were recorded and I was in Moscow and he was in New York. I never chatted with him ‘directly or indirectly’ as he claims when he was in Moscow for Miss Universe Pageant, and we don’t ‘have a great relationship’ as he claims.

Regarding his comment that he thought Mr. Trump was ‘brilliant’ Mr. Putin said, “Yes, I did call him ‘brilliant’ but the meaning was lost in translation. While Mr. Trump thinks that I meant he was extremely smart and bright, a ‘genius’ in his words, the word in Russian, блестящий (blestyashchiy), actually means ‘colorful’ or ‘flamboyant’ and was not intended to be a compliment but, as the Americans say, a ‘back-handed compliment’.”

Mr. Putin went on to say that Trump’s claim that he ‘knows Russia well’ because of his work with Miss Universe makes no sense, saying that if Trump thinks that, he’s ‘crazy,’ using the Russian word Псих (psikh). Putin went on to say, “Just to be clear, and so there is no further ‘lost in translation’ issues, when I call him “ Псих,' I mean, certifiable, nuts, psycho, lunatic, psychopath, lock him up and throw away the key Псих."

Finally, Mr. Putin addressed Mr. Trump’s advice that Russia should spy on the United States in order to find thousands of Hillary Clinton’s emails.

“Does he really think we need his encouragement to spy on the United States, to hack their computers? Now, I’m not saying that we do or we don’t, but we sure don’t need his assistance.”

Asked to comment on Mr. Putin’s scathing assessment of his relationship with Mr. Trump, Boris Epshteyn, the Trump campaign Russian expert referred all questions to campaign associate communications director Emily Litella who responded, “Never mind.”

*Editor’s note: While not confirmed, it is believed that there are five Putin critics left in Russia (i.e. not been shot, poisoned or done away with in any other nefarious ways). This is in keeping with the recent Russian law (passed unanimously by the Duma) that requires a minimum of five Putin regime critics in order to maintain Russian credibility on the world stage.